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Beg February, 2022

In February 2022, while mindlessly scrolling through Facebook posts and groups, I clicked on the link “A Group That May Interest You” and as it turns out, it was indeed a group that interests me.

The link took me to Nano Flamenco.

As a high school kid in rural Michigan, sitting in my Spanish I class, I dreamed of spending a few days, or weeks, or even a whole summer experiencing Spain in more ways than just learning the language. The music, the dancing, the energy of the people and their culture is something I had hope to one day be part of. If even for one Sevillanas. It was my “take me there, universe!” that finally brought me to Antonio Vargas’ studio in Geylang, Singapore.

Hey, plop me into a Zumba® class and you can bet a polished penny that I will shine to my brightest capacity somewhere in the back row. But after having not taken a dance class in a near decade, this was basically virgin territory for me. First, my clothing choices were undesirable. After all, I had been a frugal Expat for close to 8-years and had nothing other than cute spaghetti strapped dresses and yoga pants. Second, my shoe choice was not acceptable; flip flops wouldn’t fly anywhere except the wet markets, even then, walking through the butcher aisle is unheard of even by the locals. Third, the dark sweat marks under my arms were more obvious than normal even considering I was wearing a white t-shirt. No matter. I followed through with my plan and I am so proud of myself. It takes a lot for a person to admit they are no longer the person (or capable of what) they once were. A place they had felt comfortable in and believed would never leave. That was me. No matter. That is how we grow personally and through experiences such as this.

Anyways, having been a dance teacher for many years, I understand the need for regular class attendance/instruction. This consistency allows/encourages students to keep the choreography fresh in the their minds and staying engaged in their new endeavor. Unfortunately, after my first class I was determined never to return! I remember lying on the couch, Xiao Li’s body under one hand, my face under the other. I cried and cried. Like crocodile tears when you tell your 4 yo that they can’t have dessert until they eat their broccoli, or until after dinner, or not at all. You get the idea. Again, having been a dance teacher (even longer ago a dance student) it was disappointing to me that I couldn’t do stuff like deal with emotions like this. As a 45yo woman, geez. “Wimpy Wimpy Wimpy” was really now where I wanted to go with this.

But in the end my new friends equipped me with the proper shoes and gave suggestions as to where to buy new clothing suitable for flamenco. They also gave me the encouragement to continue with flamenco and to me, that meant that I needed to continue with my dance student-ness. Looking back at it, stepping outside of my comfort zone (albeit, not so much as as if I had gone sky diving, but same-same) was so good for me not only for this aspect in my life but for other reasons as well.

Then came the performance. Ahhh, my love of performing was again coming to fruition! Teaching Zumba gave me a boost of energy that only fellow instructors would understand.

So apparently, at the end of the month, Nano Flamenco presents a student performance (aka Pena) at the end of each month. This was a great opportunity for students to experience being all-eyes-on-them and for a bit of a challenge to remember and present the choreography. The whole thing reminds me of the days at the studio when we would have same-time dance classes and walk to the other neighboring rooms’ to check out their recital choreography. A little performance, how fun.

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Saturday, April 2

Tonight is our Pena and I am so nervous. It wasn’t my intention to tell any of my family members (near or far) or even my Expat friends living on the island. I had only originally mentioned it to my son as my husband was traveling and my daughter had plans with her friends. Thankfully my son came with me as he kept me accountable for the performance. In general, humans do not strive to let others down or have them feel disappointed, but letting your family/loved ones down is an even lower low. Don’t get my wrong, I wanted to do it like something fierce but I felt so outmatched by all the talent; regardless of my past experience. See, the importance Andrew coming with me with huge. He doesn’t remember me teaching Zumba and that hurts my heart as that was such an important time in my life. He really only knows what he knows now. I cook and clean, tend to wounds and pets, and am a great listener. Sad.

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Monday, June 6

Well, our group performed very well, I felt good about my performance, and my husband and BOTH children attended! The whole show was a success and I am so thankful I was part of an amazing program. Let me share one of the professional photographs taken of me during our performance: